Why He left the Holy Mountain
“I told you that there on the Mountain I lived a Heavenly life.”
“And why did you leave, Elder?”
“I did not leave, they expelled me.”
“They expelled you? Why?”
“It is a long story. I was in constant motion. I did not stay put for one minute. I constantly created work for myself in order to push myself. I always did these things with permission.
The one Elder would tell me to ‘dig here’.
I would dig. The other Elder would come and say: ‘why are you digging here’?
‘Father Ioannikios told me to dig’.
‘No, not here. Leave here and go there’.
‘Let it be blessed’. I would go.
Ioannikios would come and say,
‘Hey you, what did I tell you? I sent you to this place. I didn’t tell you to go there!’
‘Yes, but Fr. Panteleimon said here.’
‘All right, continue’.
Others thought that they were very strict.
Few stayed with them. I obeyed them eagerly. I saw them as very good for me.
Now that I think about them, I must admit that they were strict.
I moved around barefoot in winter and summer.
We abstained from meat, eggs and cheese. We had strict fasting. I was very healthy from the age of twelve until I was nineteen.
One winter they sent me to fetch snails. Four hours I gathered them up in the snow.
I carried a wet sack on my back. It was like ice. I became ill with pleurisy.
We did not have good food and medicines.
I became skin and bones.
I told them that I would surely die. A brother monk had come from a long distance. He placed a blister plaster on my back. Do you know what a blister plaster is?”
“No, I don’t know,” I responded.
“It is a square piece of leather. They stick it on the back where the pleurisy is located. It gathers all the liquid from the pleurisy and becomes large like a bubble.
After about a week, they cut this piece of skin off with a pair of scissors. They also cut your flesh with it and it is dreadfully painful… As a result of the great pain) I chanted, (Because of my many sins ... ‘.
“Afterwards they placed a bandage on the wound soaked in wax and other substances. This would gather up the pus and they would change the bandage. Every time they changed the bandage I suffered great pain.
“It was necessary for me to have good food so they sent me to Athens for one month. I would recover and return to the monastery. Again I would become ill. They then sent me to Athens for two months. The same thing happened. Upon my return, I got sick again.
“Finally after conferring about me, they decided to ask me to leave the monastery permanently.
“With many tears I bade them farewell.
“My monastic brother accompanied me to the boat. We both cried.
“My dear priest, don’t cry,” I told him, “I will come back again.”
“My child, don’t cry:’ he told me, “The Panaghia will bring you back”.
“We said these things to console ourselves and we cried. This scene will remain unforgettable for me. I have great nostalgia for that heavenly life of obedience. My Elders were very good. Later on, when one of them fell asleep in the Lord, the other Elder strangely disappeared. They searched for him everywhere. Even the police searched but they found nothing. We don’t know what happened to the other one”.
~Adapted from Monk Agapios, The Divine Flame Elder Porphyrios Lit in My Heart
