Daily Meditations

Patience (Part VII): Daily Awareness of One’s Death

Abba Antony said:

Therefore, my children, let us hold to the discipline, and not be careless. For we have the Lord for our co-worker in this, as it is written, God works for good with everyone who chooses the good. And in order that we not become negligent, it is good to carefully consider the Apostle’s statement: I die daily. 34

Abba Antony taught that a monk must live in such a way that the presence of God is always before him and, likewise, that God’s presence should become a reality in his manner of life. This manner of life is made possible by an open heart, an inner place that is always watchful and receptive to the presence of God. But how does one practice this essential aspect of monastic life?

Abba Evagrius said:

Sit in your cell, collecting your thoughts. Remember the day of your death. See then what the death of your body will be; let your spirit be heavy, take pains, condemn the vanity of the world, so as to be able always to live in the peace you have in view without weakening…. Always keep your death in mind and do not forget the eternal judgment, then there will be no fault in your soul”35

A brother asked Abba Cronius, “How can a man become humble?” The old man said to him, “Through the fear of God.” The brother said, “And by what work does he come to the fear of God?” The old man said, “In my opinion, he should withdraw from all business and give himself to bodily affliction and with all his might remember that he will leave his body at the judgment of God.”36

These passages may sound morbid to modern ears and could be interpreted as a renunciation of earthly life. Yet abbas Cronius and Evagrius recommend consciousness of one’s death as a way of becoming more aware of the sanctity of life. When we are able to see life as a gift and acknowledge our dependence on God, we are released from the anxiety of being in control of our lives. The body and its mortality take on a new value. Being aware of one’s mortality and conscious of one’s death takes a person beyond the ego’s concept of time as an endless resource. It releases us from the ego’s desire for time to keep going and the accompanying anxiety of knowing that it will end. It opens the heart to value existence in a new way. Accepting one’s “end” reminds each person to remain present to Christ’s new life each day and await daily conversion. Acknowledging one’s mortality creates a new vision of the body by linking a person’s limited physical life to a timeless value. This inspires each person to shape his or her life in a way that is congruent with Christ, whose life is not dependent on time. It keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. Abba Antony’s words are worth repeating:

Therefore, my children, let us hold to the discipline, and not be careless. For we have the Lord for our co-worker in this, as it is written, God works for good with everyone who chooses the good. And in order that we not become negligent, it is good to carefully consider the Apostle’s statement: I die daily. 37

~David G.R. Keller, Oasis of Wisdom: The Worlds of the Desert Fathers and Mothers

 34 Athanasius, The Life of Antony, 45.

35 Ward, Sayings, Evagrius 1, 63-64.

36 Ibid., Cronius 3, 115.

37 Athanasius, Life of Antony, 45.