I began simply and spontaneously opening my heart to him and asking him whatever was of concern to me.
“Elder, I want to become a monk. I love the monastic life. I desire to live for Christ. I visit a monastery but everything has become confusing for me and I have many questions. Please tell me, must a monk be smart or foolish?
“I ask this question because whatever I do they constantly scold me and tell me that a monk doesn’t have a personality and that here things are not as you have known them but as you find them and as they tell you. A monk cannot have his own opinion or speak back to his elders.
“On the contrary, other people who have achieved something are praised for it. They tell them that they succeeded because they are bright. They succeed at all things. They are considered bright. So, I am confused.”
The Elder responded, “A person who gives his heart to Christ, like a Monk, becomes another person. His mind opens up. It is filled with Christ. Do you hear me? Do you understand me? When your mind and heart are filled with Christ then you are wise and smart and the Spirit of God teaches you everything.
“The word smart is not meant in the way people understand it; in other words a person responds by putting another person down or by doing a job better than others. But that is all it is! How can I explain it to you?
“In every difficult situation that arises a truly smart person does not lose control of himself, is not at a loss. He does not despair but takes refuge in Christ, Who is within him. He finds nice and easy ways to overcome his problems. He does this without being upset or by suffering inner turmoil. Do you understand George?” (He said my name without ever asking me what my name was. Neither did they tell him my name yesterday when I was introduced to him. That impressed me).
“I understand, Elder.”
He continued, “The person who has given his heart to Christ doesn’t suffer no matter how many difficulties he encounters. He rejoices, he is filled with inner joy. He is creative. He is careful. He does not make mistakes or harm anyone. His mind, his hands, and his feet, all move by the Grace of God. How is it possible for him to be foolish?
“Of course there are circumstances when he must act foolish for the sake of Christ. How will he pretend to be foolish?”
“When he keeps silent, he does this knowingly from within himself. He acts as if he doesn’t understand. He pretends that he does not know because of some inner determination. He pretends not to understand. He pretends he doesn’t know because he has a better purpose in mind. These things will be taught to him very slowly by the Holy Spirit. This is so because when we have Christ in us, we live in a way that we ourselves do not determine. When Christ lives in us, He determines our life.”
Here is an example of the wisdom of Christ the Elder shared with me.
“We didn’t have an abundance of water at the monastery. In fact, we had a limited supply. They wanted to dig a long ditch in order to bring in the needed water”.
I said, “Your effort is in vain. The ditch will get blocked up and we will be without water. Let us install pipes.”
“But the expense is great”, they said.
“We will do it right and it will last. We purchased good-sized pipes and we directed the water right into the Monastery. Everyone rejoiced and glorified God. There you have it; the Spirit of God gives inventiveness to the mind of man to do what is best.”
~Adapted from Monk Agapios, The Divine Flame Elder Porphyrios Lit in My Heart
