A woman whose husband was an alcoholic had feelings of hatred toward him; she even thought of killing him. She accused herself of being thoroughly evil for even thinking such things. This happens to many people who blame themselves for their negative thoughts. The monks are more compassionate on this score. They say that the thought isn’t evil; it has a meaning. I just have to find the strength that lies within it. In the
To remedy the thirst for glory Evagrius advises the use of memory. We should remind ourselves where we come from, what passions we had to struggle with, and how it wasn’t thanks to our own merit that we conquered, but to Christ who protected us. Memory will show us that we have no guarantee for success in life, only God’s grace. Evagrius says that the demon of pride and vaingloriousness will continually arise in us
DAY THIRTEEN 16. A brother said to Father Anthony, Pray for me,” The elder said to him, “I will have no mercy upon you, nor will God have any, if you yourself do not make an effort and if you do not pray to God.” DAY FOURTEEN 17. One day some elders came to see Father Anthony. In the midst of them was Father Joseph. Wanting to test them, the elder suggested a text from
One sign that asceticism has led a monk to God is the refusal to pass judgment. However severely monks fast and however hard they work, all of that is useless if they nonetheless go on judging others. Asceticism has merely gotten them to the point where they can exalt themselves over others. It has served to satisfy their pride, to heighten their feeling of self-worth. Those who have encountered themselves in their asceticism, those who
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